'Stop beating yourself up, Jack.'
'Those are the facts.'
Anawak sat down next to him. 'Leaving the navy was the right decision, and you stuck to it,' he said. 'You were the best handler they had, and it was your decision to quit, not theirs. You didn't have to go, but you did.'
'Sure, but my leaving didn't change anything.'
'For you it did. You took a stand.'
'Achieving what, exactly?'
Anawak was silent.
'You know,' said Greywolf, 'the worst thing is feeling you don't belong. You love someone and lose them. You love animals, and they're responsible. I'm beginning to feel like I hate those orcas.'
'We all feel like that. You-'
'Licia died in the jaws of an orca. I watched and there was nothing I could do. Don't try to tell me that that's anyone's problem but mine. If I were to keel over and die right now, it wouldn't make any difference to the survival of the planet. Who would care? I haven't achieved anything to make anyone think that my presence on this planet was worthwhile.'
I'd care,' said Anawak. He expected a cutting reply, but he heard a soft sound, a kind of hiccup, like a muffled sigh, in Greywolf's throat.
'And in case you'd forgotten,' said Anawak, 'Licia cared too.'
JOHANSON
He felt so livid that he could have grabbed Rubin, hauled him up to the flight deck and tossed him overboard. He might even have done so, had the biologist crossed his path. But Rubin was nowhere to be seen. Instead he bumped into Weaver, who was going the other way.
For a moment he wasn't sure how to react, then he pulled himself together. 'Karen!' He smiled at her. 'Coming to join us in the lab?'
'Actually, I'm off to the well deck – to see Leon and Jack.'
'Oh, right. Hmm, Jack…'Johanson had to force himself to stay calm. 'He's in a bad way, isn't he?'
'He and Licia meant more to each other than he was willing to admit. It's hard to get through to him.'
'Leon's a good friend. He'll manage.'
Weaver nodded and looked at him enquiringly. She'd realised that this was a non-conversation. 'Are you all right?' she asked.
'Fine.' Johanson took her by the arm. 'I've just had the most amazing idea about what we're going to say in this big new message. Fancy a stroll on the roof?'
'Well, actually, I was-'
'It'll only take ten minutes. I just want to hear what you think. Seems like I've been shut inside for days. I need some fresh air.'
'Are you sure you'll be warm enough?'
Johanson glanced down. He was wearing a sweater and jeans. His thick down jacket was in the lab. 'I'm toughening myself up,' he said.
'Any particular reason?'
'Stops you getting flu. Keeps you young. Helps you deal with stupid questions.' He was raising his voice. Go easy, he told himself 'Listen, I have to talk to someone about it. It was your computer program that made me think of it. But it doesn't seem right to discuss it on the ramp. Won't you come outside?'
'Well, in that case, sure.'
They walked up through the tunnel and into the island. Johanson had to make a real effort not to keep checking for hidden cameras and bugs. He knew he wouldn't spot them anyway. Instead he said brightly, 'Jude's right, of course. We mustn't be overhasty. I reckon we'll need at least a couple of days to figure it out, but what I was thinking was…'
And so he went on. He kept producing intelligent-sounding nonsense, all the while pushing Weaver gently out of the island and into the open. Gesticulating expansively, he strode out in front of her until he came to one of the helicopter landing points on the starboard side of the vessel. It was colder and windier than usual. A veil of mist had descended on the ocean, and the swell had increased. The waves rolled beneath them like primitive mammals, grey and sluggish, exhaling a dank salty vapour into the air. Johanson was cold, but an inner fury seemed to warm him.
'Sigur,' said Weaver, 'I don't know what you mean.'
Johanson turned his face into the wind. 'That makes two of us. Look, I don't suppose they can hear us out here – you'd have to go to extraordinary lengths to eavesdrop on the flight deck.'
Weaver peered at him in confusion. 'What are you talking about?'
I've got my memory back, Karen. I know what happened the night before last.'
'Have you found the door?'
'No. But I can guarantee it's there.'
He outlined what had happened. Weaver listened to him intently. Her expression didn't flicker. 'So you're saying we've got a fifth column on board.'
'Yes.'
'But what would be the point?'
'Remember what Jude said? We mustn't be too hasty. Think about it! You, Leon, Sam, Murray, me, Sue – and Mick, I suppose – we've all been working flat out to furnish them with a description of the yrr. OK, maybe we're kidding ourselves, maybe we've got it wrong – but on balance it doesn't seem likely. In fact, all the evidence suggests that we're right in our assumptions about what kind of intelligence we're dealing with and how it works. So why, after we've worked day and night are we supposed to slow down?'
'Because they don't need us any more,' Weaver said flatly. 'Because Mick's already working on it with another bunch of people in a different lab.'
'We're only here to supply the information.' Johanson nodded. 'We've served our purpose.'
'But I don't get it.' What project could Mick be working on that doesn't fit with ours? I mean, we don't have much choice – our only option is to try to make peace with the yrr. What else could he be aiming for?'
'Evidently there's a rival initiative, and Mick's playing a double game. But you can bet he's not in charge.'
'Who is, then?'
'Jude.'
'You were suspicious of her from the start, huh?'
'The feeling was mutual. I think we both realised early on that we're not the sort to be taken for a ride. There was always something not quite right about her – but I couldn't think of a single good reason for not believing what she said.'
'So what now?' asked Weaver.
'I've had time to clear my mind,' said Johanson, hugging his chest to keep warm. 'Jude's going to see us standing here. She's bound to be keeping tabs on me. She won't know for sure what we're talking about, but she'll be aware of the possibility that my memory might return. She's running out of time. That speech this morning was to get us off her back. If she's got her own plan of action, she's got to strike now.'
'In other words, we need to find out what they're up to as soon as we can.' Weaver thought for a second. 'Why don't we mobilise the others?'
'It's too risky. She'd notice straight away. The whole ship is bound to be crawling with bugs. They'd lock us up and throw away the key. No, if there's a way of pushing her into a corner, I intend to find it. I want to know what's going on here, and for that I'll need your help.'
'What do you want me to do?'
'Find Rubin and get him to talk, while I deal with Jude.'
'Any idea where he might be?'
'I expect he's in that shady lab of his. At least I know where it is now, but don't ask me how you get there. We'll have to hope he's kicking around somewhere else on the boat.' Johanson sighed. 'It all sounds like something out of a bad film, doesn't it? Most likely I'm the one who's cracking up. If it turns out that I'm paranoid, I'll have plenty of time later to eat my words. Right now, I mean to find out what's going on.'
'You're not paranoid, Sigur.'
Johanson gave her a grateful smile. 'Let's go back in.'
Walking through the island and down the ramp, they kept up a steady stream of soundbites about message encryption and peaceful dialogue. 'Well, I'm off to see Leon,' said Weaver. 'I can't wait to hear what he says. After lunch we'll get started on that program. Who knows? We may even have it running by this afternoon.'