“Don’t believe it,” I told him. “Your father wants you to think he’s getting mad pussy, but don’t believe none of that shit cause I’m faking like a mother. That’s the only reason he got you sleeping in that room anyway, so he can make sure you hear me hollering. But don’t believe it, Gino, because G ain’t got nothing on you.”

Over the next few days I tried to lay low and play it cool at the Spot. They found Dicey’s body on a Monday, and G had the nerve to say a prayer for her and donate some money to give to her sister for the funeral. He even told the day staff they could take off a few hours to go to her service, and while a lot of them went, I sure as hell didn’t. The casket was gonna be closed, thank God, but the picture I still saw of Dicey in my mind was the last way I would always see her. It was a picture so foul that it made me cry every time I thought about it, but Dicey also made me stronger, too. That tongue in her hand reminded me to watch what I said around and about G to everybody, and that slit across her throat bore witness to just how far-reaching G’s hands really were.

They buried Dicey out at Heavenly Works, but of course I didn’t go to the cemetery. I still had flashbacks about falling into my mother’s grave, and not even Dicey could make me go back there.

Two weeks later G and Gino took a trip down to B-More. They’d only been gone for two days when I saw Jimmy packing himself a bag.

“Where you going?” I questioned him. I’d been mad at him ever since we got back from Hawaii because he didn’t believe me when I told him I thought G had got Dicey killed. I was so pissed off with his hardheaded self that it wasn’t funny. Jimmy knew how much Dicey had done for us over the years, and he loved her as much as I did. Why he couldn’t see that it was G who had her killed was beyond me.

He shrugged. “I’m heading upstate. Gotta make a run for G.”

“What kind of run?”

He kept stuffing things in his bag. “A business run, Juicy. You know business. The shit men like me and G take care of so you can live in a house like this and walk around styling gear that cost more money than Grandmother ever saw in her whole life. Business. Where you think all this change comes from? A niggah gotta work for it.”

“Not you,” I said. “You ain’t gotta work for G’s business. Let him send some-fuckin-body else! Let him send-”

“Like who? Gino? You want him to send Gino out to handle this shit? Or you scared to let him be a man, too?”

I swallowed hard. “What are you talking about, Jimmy? Gino’s already out. He’s out in B-More with G right now. Why you trippin?”

“Ain’t nobody stupid around here, Juicy. Blind neither. Both of y’all are wrong. You better get your shit together and stop worrying about mine. Get your shit together before G wakes up and smells the fuckin coffee.”

“You know what?” I said, pointing at him. “G got your black ass brainwashed. You believe everything he tells you, don’t you. Since when you started trusting him more than you trust me? Huh? Loving G more than you love me?”

Jimmy picked up his bag and pushed past me on his way out the door. “It ain’t about loving him over you, Juicy. It’s about staying in the game and staying alive. Watch yourself, big sister. Your shit is wide open.”

“Fuck you!” I screamed, wondering if he was right and if G suspected something was going on between me and Gino. “Just fuck you, Jimmy!”

“I love you too, big sister,” he said, and slammed out the door.

Chapter Nineteen

About a month later G called me into his office. By this time Jimmy was making regular trips both upstate and down to A.C., and he had even taken a few trips to B-More with Gino. I wasn’t happy about none of it because I could see my brother sinking fast, getting deeper and deeper into the street life, but there wasn’t much I could do to stop it. He had stopped taking his medication and I was looking for signs of that crazy bug to come out of him again. Rita was working on busting G’s computer code as often as she could, and if I brought her around more frequently even the doormen were liable to get suspicious. So I chilled. I prayed for Jimmy and Gino, and kept my eyes and ears open.

“I need you to do something, Juicy,” G said. He was sitting behind his desk, and that picture of Gino’s mother was still there, turned facedown.

“Okay,” I said, stepping inside. With him gone up and down the road so much we had kinda settled back into our routine, and he hadn’t even threatened me since we came back from Hawaii. “What you need, G?”

“I need you to take a drive. I got something I need picked up and brought back here, and the driver has to be clean in case they get stopped.”

Shit sank in fast. G had made Pacho teach me how to drive over the summer, and now I knew why.

“But I don’t have no license, G.”

“That’s all right. You ain’t never been arrested before, and that’s the main thing. Ain’t too many niggahs in here without a record, and you the only woman I trust not to cross me cause every other bitch in here is dirty.”

My heart hit my feet. What kind of shit was G talking about? He never even wanted me in his business before, and now he wanted me to make a pickup? That shit smelled foul from the jump, but I heard my voice come out of my mouth. “Okay, G. Okay.”

“Don’t tell nobody where you going, Juicy. Not even Jimmy.”

“Okay.”

For the rest of the day I walked around petro like a mother. I was scared G was sending me into a setup and I wanted to ask somebody to help me or to tell G to send somebody else to do his dirty shit, but I knew the next somebody he sent would be Jimmy, and I couldn’t have that on my heart.

It was a Saturday night and the Spot was live. I made sure my switchblade was in my purse, then I motioned to Gino to meet me in the coatroom, and while I kissed him and told him how much I loved him, I didn’t tell him where I was going or what his father had asked me to do. The way I saw it, I was damned if I did and damned if I didn’t, but if Gino found out about it and confronted G, we were all damned for sure.

“I miss you, baby.” He held me in that coatroom and slid his tongue past my lips and I tried to suck it down my throat. As scared as I was, my pussy got wet. Damn, I wanted him. Wanted to feel his hard dick stroking me until I lost my mind and there was no room for G or his fuckin Spot in my head, but G wanted me on the road by midnight, so I had to be satisfied with a kiss.

“I miss you too,” I told him, wishing I could stay right there in his arms forever.

Pluto brought the Z4 around to the front of the Spot at eleven-thirty. He was smiling all stupid when he opened the door and handed me the keys.

“Here you go, you stuck-up bitch. If you blow a tire or the engine falls out, walk your simple ass on back.”

I went off. “You know what? I’m tired of you! If G knew half the shit you done tried with me, he’d fuck you up! Matter fact,” I said, slamming the car door closed and heading back inside the Spot, “I’ma go let him know what kinda motherfucker Moonie got down on his staff. I’ma let G know just how bad you want a piece of his pussy!”

Pluto just smiled some more. “I don’t know why all you bitches think what you got between your legs is better than gold. I’d die for G, and he knows that. He ain’t gonna hold your stupid ass up over me. Ain’t you figured it out yet? Pussy comes and pussy goes. Loyal motherfuckers like me will be around forever.”

Fuck Pluto. I was telling! I pushed through the Spot and ran back to G’s office. I didn’t see him, but I heard the water running in his private bathroom.

“G!” I yelled. “G, it’s me, Juicy.”

“Hold on. I’ll be right out.”

I stood at his desk mad as hell, drumming my fingers on the cherry wood. I glanced at that facedown picture frame again, and something made me pick it up and take another look. I almost hollered. The picture I’d expected to see of Gino’s mother was gone. The girl smiling up at me was even more familiar. She had a Hawaiian lei around her neck and looked like she was on vacation.