“Sorry, honey. Mommy will feed you better from now on.” She heard a car pull in the driveway and looked at the clock.

Eleven o’clock. Trish was right on time. Kate went to the side door and opened it just in time to launch herself into her big sister’s arms.

Patricia Adams-Reed had a life most women would envy. The wife of a congressman from a district just north of Atlanta, she had a fulfilling career as a research scientist with the Centers for Disease Control, two great kids, and a husband who adored her. She was stunning to look at, defying her forty-eight years with incomparable grace. She was taller than Kate, but with the same large hazel eyes and dark hair. It was her irreverent sense of humor and “screw the world” attitude that made Trish exactly what Kate needed.

Kate fell apart as soon as they got into the kitchen.

“Shhh, now, shhh.” Trish’s voice was laced with just the slightest drawl, the result of over twenty years in the south. “Honey, tell me what happened.” Kate stepped back, wiped her eyes on her sleeve and her sister placed a hand on her belly. “I’m going to be an auntie again?”

Kate nodded. “I-I can’t believe this is happening.” Her voice was hoarse, raw from the endless crying.

Trish took her arm and guided her to the couch in the den. The room was a mess, with tissues littering the floor and coffee table. “You need to tell me the whole story. First—who’s the daddy?”

Kate pointed to the table. There sat her laptop, and on the screen was the team website, featuring a photo of last night’s star of the game—David.

“What? Does he work for that hockey team?”

“Sort of.” Kate took the clicked the link enlarging the photo and pointed again. “David Burke. The hockey player. He’s the father.”

Trish blinked. Looked carefully at the picture and then back at her sister. “You shagged a pro athlete?”

Kate nodded.

“Goddamn.” Trish leaned back and extended her long, slender arm across the back of the leather sofa. “We have some catching up to do.”

Kate wiped her eyes with her sleeve, nodded, and launched into the story.

*

Trish hung on her every word, wiped every tear, and finally Kate got to the point she was at right now. Alone and pregnant. Kate was sniffling like a five-year-old with a runny nose. Trish walked into the kitchen and grabbed the box of tissues that was sitting on the counter. She wasn’t falling all over herself, so Kate imagined her big sis was a little peeved.

“I have to give you credit… you do nothing small. It’s like the old days.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Like Kate didn’t feel shitty enough already? Trish was going to lecture her now? She remembered what it was like. Perfect Trish never made a wrong move and Kate, well, that was something else.

“Never mind.” Trish sat on the coffee table and took her sisters hands in hers. “Have you made an appointment with the doctor?”

“I’m going tomorrow.”

“Good. I’ll go with you.”

“Okay.” Kate swallowed hard, relieved.

“You need anything from the store? Baby’s gotta eat.”

“I went grocery shopping. There’s lots of healthy food in the house and I got rid of all the alcohol.”

Trish shook her head, disapprovingly. “Oh, darlin’, that’s just a crying shame. After that story, I need a drink.”

Kate chuckled, but just as quickly turned serious. “I think I love him, Trish, but it’s not going anywhere.”

Her sister wrapped her in a big hug and when the phone rang, Kate picked up the cordless and froze. It was David.

“Please answer this.” Kate thrust the phone at her sister.

“Why? Who is…”

“It’s David.”

“Why is he calling you?”

“Trish, please?!” Kate was frantic.

Trish didn’t answer, the answering machine did, but her sister turned up the volume to hear David’s message. “Hi Kate, it’s David. I saw you called last night. I hope everything’s okay. I’m going on a short road trip tomorrow, but if you need to talk to me, well, ah, call back. Thanks.”

Trish listened to the click disconnecting the call and glared at Kate. “You called him?”

She nodded. “He didn’t answer, so I hung up.”

“He sounds worried, Kate. You should call him back.”

She didn’t say anything. Instead, Kate stood and walked to the kitchen to get some water.

Trish followed and leveled her gaze at Kate. Damn her sisterly instincts—she knew what Kate was thinking. “You are going to tell him, aren’t you?”

“I don’t know yet.”

“Kate! You have to tell him.”

“Why?” She was serious. Why did he have to know?

“Because he’s the father?” Trish approached her. “Why wouldn’t you?”

The knot in Kate’s heart twisted again and she ran her hand over the plane of her stomach. “He’ll try to do the ‘right’ thing.”

“Is that a problem? There’s nothing wrong with doing the right thing.” Kate could see her sister didn’t understand.

“I don’t want to trap him,” Kate said. “It would be a disaster.”

Trish wrapped and arm around her shoulder and Kate felt more raw sadness than she could ever remember. The only thing that would be worse than being rejected by David was if he was with her out of pity. She knew that kind of relationship wouldn’t last. As much as she wanted to be with David, as much as she missed him, she couldn’t risk her heart again.

Chapter 15

‡

Driving into the city was never easy during the week, but Kate wasn’t going to take a train to see her obstetrician. Trish settled into the passenger seat of the Volvo, drank her coffee, and stayed quiet most of the ride. Her sister was never a morning person, and of course Kate had made an 8:30 appointment.

Kate’s mind was a little quieter today. She’d stepped off the emotional roller coaster sometime yesterday and actually had time to adjust to the idea of having a baby. She sat in the guest bedroom that was on the second floor right next to her room. It was big, but not huge, had lots of great light and a window seat. The floors were already refinished, so all it needed was some paint and new furniture.

She still didn’t know what to tell David, if anything. He may have cared for her, but as Kate told her sister, he wasn’t ready for this kind of relationship. What was he going to do? Marry her? She was too old to trap a guy into marriage, and David would end up miserable.

Although, she did think he’d be a good dad. He loved kids, and he’d talked about the work he did with youth hockey programs and with Children’s Hospital in the city. She also knew all there was to know about his nieces and nephew, whom he was seeing at Christmas. He was like a kid himself, describing the toys he bought for them.

Without a doubt, he’d be a wonderful father, and at that moment Kate felt a little guilty for not telling him.

“Thinking about Hockey Boy?” Trish was finally waking up.

Kate grinned. “How did you know?”

Trish laughed. “I’ve been here for less than twenty-four hours and every time you get that dopey look on your face, he’s on your mind.”

“Great.” That was all Kate needed. She was hoping to be a little less transparent.

“Kate, are you sure you shouldn’t tell him?”

“I don’t think so. I don’t want to saddle him with this. If I was worth it, he’d have fought a little harder for me.”

“I don’t think that’s fair.”

“I can do this on my own, Trish. Like I said, I don’t want to trap him. And…” She hesitated, knowing this was the most important part. “I don’t want to settle for someone who doesn’t love me.”

Kate glanced over when she slowed the car to a stop at a light. Trish was taking in all she said. Right or wrong, this was the most independent she had been in her entire life.

“I Googled him,” her sister said. “I can see why you’d think that boy would be a heap of trouble.”