“Why didn’t you just go for it?” I asked.

“Because…I guess I just wanted him to have the freedom to have fun without having to justify it to me. He dated other chicks while he was there, you know? I was okay with that even though I never…not until X anyway.”

“That’s why Connor stopped calling back then. It was because he was mad at you,” I said.

Alys nodded. “I tried so hard to get in touch with him. The more interest X showed, the harder I tried to get Connor to listen to me. I texted him, called him, fucking emailed the son of a bitch—no offense to Gloria. But he dropped me like a bad habit, and then…I fell for X, too.”

“Too?” piped Lili.

“When Connor came back, it was so weird because he was suddenly interested again, and that pissed me off to no end. I told him he could kiss my ass. He’d spent months ignoring me. Then, they wanted him in the band, and I knew I was in deep shit.”

“Why though? Did X know about you two?” I asked.

Alys went from flushed to fry-an-egg. “Yeah. And…”

“And what?” Lili gasped.

“After Connor joined the band, I confessed to X that I’d slept with Connor, and X was fine with that. He said he had a feeling we were close. Then, things got easier between Connor and me. We were able to hang out, and X loved him to bits. Then, one night—”

“Shut the fuck up!” squealed Lili.

“We were just hanging out at our place. It was when Connor had moved back in. Lili practically lived with Lewis, and X…wanted to have a threesome.”

“Really?” I asked. “Well, I guess it isn’t so weird.”

“No. He and Jace used to pound Sheri—”

“Jesus fucking Christ,” groaned Lili, rolling her eyes up to the ceiling.

“And since I loved them both and had already slept with both of them…I did it. We did it. Afterward, X told me he was bi.”

That did surprise me. “Come again?”

“X boinked dudes?” asked Lili.

Alys nodded. “It didn’t bother me. He told me he had no problem being with only me for the rest of his life, but he liked watching me with Connor, and—”

“Which of them took it up the ass?” asked Lili. “Was it both?”

Alys heaved a sigh. “Connor wasn’t okay with having a dude up his ass.”

“Connor boinked X?” squeaked Lili.

“Please, you can’t say anything to anyone!” she begged Lili.

“Who would I tell?” demanded Lili.

“Lewis?” Alys ventured a guess.

“The guys knew?” I asked.

“Not about me, Connor, and X, but they knew that X swung both ways. They didn’t care. He told them when they were really young, like thirteen or fourteen.”

“I’m not attracted to dudes. At all. I know some guys who’d surprise you to know that they are though.” The memory of Phil’s voice echoed through my head.

“So, what’s it like, having one in each hole?” chimed Lili’s voice, bringing me back into the present.

Alys wiped a few stray tears off her cheeks. “Intense at first, but you get used to it.”

Lili pulled an impressed face. “Huh. You’re kind of a slut now, Alys.”

“I know.” She heaved a sigh. “I’ve only fucked two guys. Granted, I had them at the same time—”

“Whatever. If you guys were in a three-way sort of deal, why did you go and marry X? You know Connor was crushed,” said Lili.

“Because I thought Connor had moved on. He brought that chick on the bus and started fucking all sorts of skanks. I know X was bummed by Connor’s sudden need to live the rock-star life because I think X really wanted both of us.”

“Did they make out and let you watch?”

“Jeez, Lili. Collecting for your spank bank?” I snapped.

“Maybe. Alys, you were boinked by two gingers at once. Did they suck out your soul to compensate for their lack of one between the two of them?”

“It’s possible. In a way, I needed Connor out of the picture. As much as I’m in love with him—”

“Still?” I asked softly.

Alys swallowed thickly. “Always. It’s always been Connor. But I made a commitment to X, and I loved him, too. And now…I’m glad I did. He wanted a family. He wanted to have all of that with me, and I’m glad I was able to have what I had with him.”

“Me, too,” I told her.

“Me three,” said Lili. “As wack as that was, he loved you, Alys. You lit up his life for a year and a half. X adored you almost as much as Phil adores Kenna.”

“Yeah…that’s a whole different level, isn’t it?” Alys sighed.

“So, what do you plan to do now?” I asked.

Alys shrugged. “Now that the two of you know, I was thinking of telling Connor that I still have feelings for him. I know I still need time. I can’t just bury the man I married—”

“You wore him nicely enough,” drawled Lili.

“And then jump into something with Connor. If Connor can give me some more time to get over X and what we had, then…I’d like to have a relationship with him. I’ve always loved him, more than anyone.”

I nodded.

“Is Connor bi then?” asked Lili.

“No,” replied Alys. “I think he was just really open-minded and wanted—”

“You,” I said. “He wanted you, and he wanted to make you happy. So, he did what he had to, so he could be a part of your life in that way.”

“Yeah, something like that.”

“Rock stars.” Lili snorted. “Kenna, Da was right. Musicians are the worst!”

Phil

Living with a life-coaching team for ten weeks had helped me locate the man I needed to be. It had taken a lot of effort and a lot of physical and mental exercise to figure it out, but I was already that man. He had always been within me.

This was the man Kenna saw when she looked at me. “When I see him—that loyal, kindhearted, generous man—all your good looks don’t matter because he blinds me to everything else.”

That was the man who hugged David, Gustav, and Wendy good-bye. He was the one who signed the paperwork as he was leaving with his brothers from The Gentle Oak Rehabilitation Center for the airport.

Deep down, I had always been this man. Now that I knew that, I’d found the greatest sense of peace. My Baby Girl was right. I’d needed to find myself, so I could be half of the greatest whole in my universe.

With my cell phone now available to me, I did what any man in my situation would do. I called my woman.

It went straight to voice mail.

“She turned off her phone a few weeks ago,” Connor told me, busting me on my fourth attempt. “She calls Da every few days to let him know she’s alive. I think she’s just devoting her time to Alys and Lili.”

Couldn’t say that wasn’t a bit of a blow, but she had to do what she had to do.

“I tried to call Alys,” he admitted. “Same deal with her. Mama Sally told me they all just wanted to be left alone until they got back.”

That made me feel better, knowing Connor was up shit creek, too.

Ass-hat. He deserved it.

Back home, it was straight to work. Siggie, who was now officially Sheri’s second-in-command, drove us home to drop off our shit and then took us to the newly rebuilt studio. The warehouse had been gutted by Katrina—damn, that was nearly a year ago?—but thanks to Siggie, the most important shit had been saved. We’d had minimal loss, and we only had to repair damages.

“We tried to get everything back the way it was,” Siggie explained. “You guys will have to replace the furniture that was lost. But all the memorabilia was saved! And personal stuff, so…”

“Wow…” Devon said, looking at the production area. “You guys really went all out on this place. It’s fucking gorgeous.”

“Too fuckin’ right,” I agreed.

“Wait till you see the jam-out area!” said Flipper. “Magic happens there.”

Connor smiled, and all I could think of was when Koko had gone loco and tried to make out with me there. The Space Monkeys were doing great. They were on a world tour with some serious headliners. They were gonna be coming back sometime later this year to record their next album. I was looking forward to working with those cats again.