“That’s the spirit,” said Flipper.

Kenna

My grandparents lived in the Scottish countryside in a sizable two-story house that looked like a large stone cottage. They bred top-quality sheepdogs, and by the love of all that was holy, a litter of five-week-old pups greeted us at the front door.

For a week and a half, Alys and I hung out, helped Gran in the garden, and helped Gramps with the dogs. We’d take long walks in the countryside, just being us. It had been a long time since we connected, just us two.

I shed my depression like old skin. It was hard being miserable while a pack of puppies dogged my steps. There was just one thing that kept popping into my head, dragging me down.

May sixth dawned bright and sunny, turning the world around us gold and emerald, with the sky the color of X’s eyes. I was supposed to marry the love of my life today. Instead, I was half a world away.

While washing up the dishes after supper, my cell phone rang in my pocket. Da liked to give me a call about every other day, and Lili would call an obscene amount, too. She’d be coming soon, and the three of us were going to travel around England and Scotland.

The screen showed Devon, and my heart fluttered. “Hello?”

“Hey, Baby Girl,” came that voice that had the power to make my knees knock and pulse race.

Alys gave me a startled look as I ran out the kitchen door into the garden.

“Phil!” I cried. I couldn’t help it. I started bawling my eyes out. “Oh, babe, I miss you!” Sobbing, I sat down on Gran’s stone bench.

“Kenna Baby, don’t cry,” he said softly. “You’ll make me cry, and I…I just needed to hear your voice. I’ve been goin’ insane, thinkin’ of what today was supposed to be.”

“Me, too,” I confessed.

“I don’t have a lot of time. Devon was able to sneak in his phone and get me alone before the rest of the guys show up.”

“I don’t care. I’m just so happy to hear your voice! No one’s told me anything about how you’re doing. Connor hasn’t called, and your dad tells me next to nothing—”

“We’re not really allowed to contact people outside the place. We can call our families once a week from the main area, but…I tried to call you. Dad wouldn’t give me your number. I should have that shit memorized.”

“It’s okay, babe. Just tell me how you’re getting on. Are the therapists good?”

“I’m off the crutches, and you won’t believe it, but I do fuckin’ yoga three or four hours a day—”

“Shut up!” I laughed and cried all at once.

“Seriously.” He laughed. “I totally get why you do this. Connor helps me, and I’ve started meditating. It’s really helped a lot. I’ve put some fuckin’ weight back on. The food here is pretty good. I begged them to feed me more. They had me on fuckin’ salads, Baby Girl. I was so hungry. And we…we’re makin’ music again. We asked Devon to join the band, and Connor’s on bass. We ain’t NOLA’s Junk no more.”

“What?” I gasped.

“Nope. We’re NOLA’s Own now.”

“Oh. Oh, wow, babe!” I was just so fucking happy. I couldn’t help the laughter that effervesced out of me. “It sounds amazing! I can’t wait to hear what you guys have been producing.”

“Will you do somethin’ for me, Baby Girl?” he asked, his voice turning serious.

“Of course.”

“Will you…” He sucked in a deep breath. “Will you still marry my ass? Will you make me the happiest man in the world and be my wife?”

Tears poured down my face as I stared at my engagement ring. “Yes.”

His breath came out shaky. “I…I freak out sometimes, wonderin’ if maybe…” He swallowed loudly. “I sometimes wonder if maybe you don’t wanna be with me after everythin’ you had to go through since we got together. I’ve hurt you in ways I never thought I would, and…I just…”

“You’re worth every ounce of pain, Phil. What we have, the kind of love we share, comes at a price. The universe demands it. It’s not free, and it shouldn’t be. But as long as I know you love me, I’m yours. You’re my other half.”

“You’re my whole fuckin’ life. You own me.”

My laugh sounded like a bubble bursting in my throat. “Something like that.”

“I think I can make it now.” He sighed. “Hearin’ your laugh has been the best fuckin’ thing I’ve heard in a long-ass time. I was afraid I might never hear it again.”

“Your laughter sounded pretty fine, too,” I told him.

“It’s bizarre. A few weeks ago, I never thought I’d laugh again. But it was a good thing, comin’ here. You were right. You’re always fuckin’ right. It drives me nuts. But all this therapy and counselin’ has helped. I’ve realized that X wouldn’t want us to give up just ’cause he’s gone—fuck! The guys are comin’! I gotta go.”

“Okay—”

“I love you, Kenna. Tonight, I’m gonna dream that we got married, and I’m gonna fuckin’ jerk off to the thought of bangin’ my wife.”

That cracked me up. “I love you, too—”

“You do the same, okay? Touch my sweet slice of heaven, and come, sayin’ my name.”

“I will.” I laughed.

“Promise?”

“I promise.”

The line went dead, but my heart…he was full.

Phil

“I’m heading back to the UK. I haven’t seen my parents since Christmas, and they were kind of pissed that I ran off to Colorado,” Devon was telling me.

I spontaneously busted into a deep lunge. “How long you gonna be gone?”

“Couple of weeks. I’ll be back before you get out of this place.”

Six more weeks remained of the program, and while I was happy with my progress, I missed Kenna more than anything. Deep inside me was an ache that never eased up.

Twisting over my knee, I dug my elbow into it and pushed, releasing my breath. A lot had changed inside me since coming here. All the health-nut crap, it was no fuckin’ wonder my Baby Girl was such an easy spirit.

Devon gave me a weird-ass look.

“What?” I asked.

“I ran into Kenna at Heathrow,” he confessed quietly.

My heart tripped. “Yeah?” I whispered even though we were alone. I was paranoid Connor would come bursting through the door and bust us, like he had a brotherly radar that would go off if I said her name aloud.

Devon nodded. “She’s got family in Scotland, right?”

“Yeah. Her grandparents and a clan of MacGregor cousins.”

“Is there anything you want me to tell her? I can try to see her, if you want. See how she’s doing, and let you know when I get back.”

Truth be told, I didn’t want that motherfucker anywhere near my Baby Girl. Just thinking of his pretty self being close to her set my teeth on edge.

Glancing down at my hands with my palms pressed together, I saw my DiAblo twinkling in the light. She had once again promised to marry me. I was someone else now, someone I hoped was worthy of her. After we’d hung up on our would-have-been wedding day, I knew that I needed to prove to her that I was a changed man, one who deserved her as my wife.

Untwisting my ass, I counter-stretched and stood up. “Yeah, man. Are you leavin’, like, right this second?”

“I got about thirty minutes. Why?”

“Give me ten. I’ll be right back.”

My bedroom wasn’t too far off, and I needed some privacy for this. There was a strong possibility I would cry, and I didn’t need Devon thinking I was a bitch because I willingly removed my engagement ring.

Taking out some paper and a pen, I wrote her a short letter, explaining why I was doing it. My Baby Girl would understand. Her soul knew mine, like mine knew hers. After signing my name, my heart jumped into my throat, threatening to choke me. I pulled off the DiAblo and slipped it into one of my iPod pouches with a drawstring. Folding up the note, I put it in there with it.

I hadn’t fuckin’ cried like a bitch. Only one tear had slid down my face as the ring came off.