“Kenna.”

“Would her presence here be helpful to you?”

I was the surprised one now. “You could get her here?”

“If it would help you stay focused on getting well, I could look into it.”

This was it. I could make a huge fuckin’ stink and get my Baby Girl. Connor would call her and tell her, and she’d be back from wherever the hell they’d shipped her off to, and…

“No,” I told him. “I want her here more than anythin’, but I would probably lose sight of why I’m here at all. She doesn’t want that. She needs time for herself now anyway.”

Wow. I’d fuckin’ done the unselfish thing, the thing Kenna would have done for me if she were in this position. I still ached for her, probably more now, but I felt a huge sense of accomplishment in that.

“How long have you been with Kenna?” David asked.

My whole fuckin’ life. “Almost two years.”

“Do you think you have a healthy relationship?”

“Probably not. At least on my end anyway.”

“Why do you think that?”

“Because she’s my obsession. My reason to exist.”

“Not your music? Your band?”

“They’re secondary.”

“Is that wise?”

I shrugged. “Don’t know. Don’t really care.”

“What do they think?”

“About Kenna?”

“And your relationship with her.”

“They’re all for it. She makes me a better person, a better man. They respect that.”

“What about your friend who was killed? How did he feel about it?”

I took a deep breath, feeling the sting of X’s death. “He adored Kenna,” I said quietly. “He thought she was badass. He even married her best friend. And that woman is pretty badass, too.”

“You feel Kenna supports you then? Emotionally, professionally?”

“She’s our number one fan. My number one fan. We met before we hit it big…”

I told him the whole story of my Baby Girl and me. Hell, it was what I was paying him a small fortune for. I’d promised I would do whatever it took, and not working with the people here wouldn’t get me very far. But, hell yeah, I bragged about my woman to David. I had diarrhea of the mouth about her for at least a solid hour.

“The thing is,” I said, wrapping all this up, “she doesn’t want me here so that we can be together. She wants me here so that I can get through this shit for myself. It fuckin’ sucks because I am doin’ this so that we can be together again, and I don’t see why it can’t be both ways.”

“I think that you are doing this for both those reasons. She’s right though. You should be doing this for you, so when you leave here, you’re in a good place within yourself.”

“Then, how is that not selfish? That’s somethin’ that fucks with me. I know I’m selfish a lot of the time. I want to be more like her, thinkin’ beyond myself and what I want, you know?”

“By being in a good place inside yourself, Phil, you can bring that to other people. The people in your life will benefit from having you happy and sound of mind. Just like all the negative things that landed you here in the first place, the good things will bring joy to you and your loved ones.”

Yeah, that’s one way to look at it, I guess.

The daily schedule was pretty much mapped out. After Gustav’s rabbit-food lunch special, I had two hours to hang with the guys. They brought over a few guitars and a small drum kit.

And a bass.

Before I could say anything about that, Jason held up a small black case. “Talked to Granny this mornin’.”

“Seriously?”

“Yeah, man. She called me. Well, she called Sheri, who called the main office, who gave me my phone back to call Granny—you get the idea. Said her spirit guides told her to tell me to tell you that you have to shed the old, reveal what you’ve forgotten, and begin again.”

“And how’s the box gonna help me with that?”

Flipper did a decent impression of Brad Pitt’s Seven performance. “What’s in the bahx?”

Snappin’ the tabs, Jason busted out a buzzer and barber shears.

To shave.

My fuckin’ head.

“Hell no!” I said.

“Dude, it’s time,” said Jason. “Granny ain’t ever led us astray before.”

“Did she tell you I had to shave my fuckin’ head?”

“Yeah. She said the dreamcatchers need to be seen.”

“Do it!” said Flipper. “You’ve been lettin’ that shit grow for more than five years now.”

I looked at Connor, whose hair was pretty fuckin’ long, and Jason, who had his hair pulled back into a knot. I glared at his scarred face and good looks, wondering if he just wanted to have the prettiest hair in the band. But, in my opinion, Connor did. It was dreamy.

“You guys gonna shave your heads, too?”

“Fuck no,” said Jason. “Sheri would nut-chuck me.”

“And Kenna would nut-chuck me!”

Connor’s eyes dropped to the floor, but he said nothing.

“What do you think, Little Brother?” I asked.

“I think…I think it could be good for you. But it’s your hair.”

Eyeballing the buzzer, I then looked up at Jason again. “All right.”

“Yes!” he roared.

I yanked off my shirt as Flipper got a towel and threw it at me to drape over my shoulders. Copping a squat on a kitchen stool, I pulled down my hair. That shit hit my lower back now.

“Don’t ever tell the girls we went all girlie,” stated Flipper, looking stern. “Playin’ with each other’s hair an’ shit.”

Scowling, I pulled my hair into a loose ponytail, and Connor grabbed it, snipping the fucker off before I could even blink.

“Holy shit!” gasped Jason.

“What?”

“He just whacked your hair off! Just like that!” he said, snapping his fingers.

Flipper busted out laughing.

Connor handed my rope of hair to me. “Jason’s granny said you have to burn it.”

A few locks of hair fell forward, and I almost wanted to cry. Oddly enough though…I felt relieved. Many memories had been made while this shit was growing, both fucking awesome and horrific. Looking at it, it made sense.

I need to let shit go. I need to walk away from the bullshit and move forward.

That was a secret power that Kenna had. She was strong enough to walk away even if it killed her inside to do so. If my Baby Girl could let go of the past and move on, then so could I.

A few minutes later, Connor had buzzed my head, and damn it, he’d taken my sideburns, too.

“Well, fuck me runnin’,” said Jace, his eyes bugging at me.

He held up a hand mirror, and the face looking back at me looked just as shocked as Jason’s.

Turning my head to the side, I saw the webbed circlet just above my ear, up to where the side and top of my head met, the three feathers wrapping back around my skull. The same was on the other side. On the back of my head, the six feather tips touched.

Six feathers, one for each year my Baby Girl and I waited to be together.

Goose bumps erupted all over my body at that thought.

“Come on, let’s torch this,” said Jason, sweeping up the rest of the hair and heading out back.

A pristine hibachi grill sat in the far corner. I hoped Gustav wouldn’t be too pissed, but the motherfucker was a chef. If he honestly cared about grilling, he’d get a fuckin’ decent grill, not this marshmallow roaster.

A slight breeze came through, tingling my scalp with the sensation. The air was soft and sweet. I could almost feel Kenna’s lips pressing on the left catcher.

“You gotta grow a beard though,” Jason said as I dumped the hair into the grill. “You look fuckin’ twelve all over again.”

Shooting him a filthy look down my nose at him, I said, “Fuck you. I haven’t looked twelve since I was sixteen.”

“Should we say a few words?” asked Flipper, fishing out a book of matches from his pocket.

“Naw, man. Just light the shit,” I said.