His face flushes as he takes a step toward me. “You push me away at every turn. You told me you wanted to see other people. What the—”

“You’re right,” I say, nodding my head. “You’re absolutely right. But if you still want to know why I stopped calling you after Thanksgiving...there, you’ve got your answer. I thought...” I pause and take a deep breath. “I guess you were too busy fucking Terra when I needed you.”

This time, when he reaches out to touch me, he succeeds. He draws me to his chest, not seeming to care about the pain it might cause the area where he got the bluebird tattoo last night. “What were you going to say, Ky? You thought what?” he demands.

Since we’re laying it all out on the table tonight, I glare up at him. “I thought I was pregnant. I thought that I was going to have a kid with someone who can’t even say he loves me, and I panicked.”

His grip tightens on the small of my back. “You’re not, are you?” The tone of his voice is low and dangerous, and I know he’s thinking about all the partying we’ve done over the past few days. “Are you?” he says more urgently.

I shake my head. “Do you really think I’m that stupid and selfish?” I ask. I close my eyes, squeezing them so tight that the tears have no other choice but to stay put. He releases a long exhale, but when I speak a moment later, he loses his breath once more. “Wyatt...I really can’t do this anymore.”

He clenches his jaw. “Yes, you can. I fucked up. I know that I did, but that doesn’t mean we can’t fix ourselves.” When he touches his forehead against mine, I pull away from him, pressing my back to the wall again.

“I’ve done exactly what I told you I’d do. I came here with you. I let you remind me of our past, the good and the bad. But, Wyatt, I just can’t anymore.” Each word takes an excruciating amount of effort, and I know that if we don’t end this soon, I’m going to be sick to my stomach.

“We can fix this, Ky,” he says.

I shake my head again, wiping tears from my cheeks. “We’ve been doing this for so long,” I whisper. “After Brenna and my ex and so much bullshit, it’s amazing we didn’t already give up on each other years ago. Don’t you see it? If we haven’t fixed ourselves by now, how the hell do you think we ever can?”

“I refuse to believe that.” He’s breathing heavily, his chest rising and falling against mine. “I love you, Kylie.”

The sob that I’ve been so successfully holding back finally makes its way past my throat, and I gasp. I lower my head, shaking it slowly, as my shoulders tremble. He’s dealt me the most painful blow of all, and surely, he must know that because he backs away from me slowly. When I manage to lift my gaze, the agony in his blue eyes matches the sting spreading across my chest, consuming me.

“Fuck ... I mean, you had to have known that already,” he says hoarsely.

I press my hand to my chest for a moment, pushing hard as if it will stop my heart from pounding so rapidly, as if doing so will keep me from crumbling apart. Once I’ve managed to control my tears, I say, “I have waited so goddamn long to hear you say that, and now that I have...it just hurts.” It hurts because of all times to tell me that he loves me, he picks the one moment when losing me is a certainty.

Closing his eyes, he fists his strong hands. “That’s not my intention.”

“If you say so, Wyatt,” I say in a detached voice. Rubbing the heel of my palm over my eyes to wipe away the remaining dampness from my face, I take a deep breath. “Your show starts soon.”

“It can wait.”

I think back to the day I asked him if he planned on leaving Your Toxic Sequel, and my vision blurs. “Did you lie about that, too? About quitting YTS?” His lowered blue eyes and silence is all the answer I need. “God, Wyatt...”

“I’m not,” he argues. He eases down onto the edge of the bed, darting his blue eyes over to where I’m still standing, clutching the wall. “Things were going shitty, okay? Lucas is a dick, and Sinjin’s always fucked-up. Cal and I were both thinking about bailing last year, but we changed our minds, okay? When Hazard Anthem called us about doing these shows, I figured we owed them one for leaving them high and dry.”

I fold my arms over my chest, giving him a tight smile. “You don’t need to explain yourself to me. I get it. It’s business.” I’m not going to argue with him anymore. There’s no point because I already know that I’ll have to leave.

“Will you be here when I get back tonight?”

His eyes are pleading, and I have difficulty speaking past the pain in the back of my throat.

“You already know that I won’t.”

“God, Kylie. Don’t do this,” he begs. “I’m sorry.”

“Have a good show, Wyatt,” I say softly, turning away from him.

I feel like weights are tied to my shoulders as I walk into the bathroom. I close the door behind me, lean my head against it, and start counting as I wait for him to leave. I hear the door to our room slam shut when I reach 150, and I press my fist to my mouth as sobs shake my entire body.

***

I’m packing and crying when Heidi shows up at my door an hour later. Her grin quickly fades as soon as I open the door. She doesn’t ask questions. She doesn’t try to give me advice. She simply yanks me to her, wrapping her thin arms around me.

“Is that ride back home still on the table?” I whisper.

She nods against my shoulder. “For you, babe, anything.”

Chapter Seventeen

I’m back in L.A. before the sun even rises the next morning, and I spend the rest of my weekend alone, leaving my apartment only once to go to the market around the corner. It’s not as if I’m in a catatonic state because I’m a seasoned pro at dealing with this type of bullshit, but the last thing I want is to bring someone else’s mood down with my moping around.

Later that night, I make plans with Heidi to take me to the DMV office first thing tomorrow morning.

***

When my doorbell rings at seven thirty in the morning on the dot, I’m already dressed. After brushing the tangles out of my black-and-blue hair, I fling open the door, and I’m shocked when I see my brother standing on the other side, holding a box from my favorite bakery.

“I didn’t realize you knew where I lived,” I greet him sarcastically, ignoring the way my stomach growls as I step backward to let him inside.

Ducking his head because he’s so damn tall, he comes through the doorway and makes a face at me. “Don’t look so fucking happy to see me next time.” He follows me into my den. “Brought you your favorite,” he says as he slams down into the chair at my computer desk, setting the box beside my laptop.

“Heidi’s taking me to the DMV to get a new license in a little bit, so can you make this quick?”

He grabs my phone from the desk and then rolls the chair forward until he stops right in front of me. “Call her and cancel.”

I take the phone, but instead of making the call, I cross my arms over my chest. “Lucas, I take my job very, very seriously, but it’s impossible for me to drive your ass around if I don’t have a license.”

“Cute,” he says, dragging his lips up into a strained smile. “But I’m here to take you to the DMV myself.”

I’m momentarily stunned. Being up so early is typical for my brother—he works out for a couple hours every morning—but for some reason, he’s taken it upon himself to visit me. And now, he’s offering to help me complete a tedious task that I don’t even want to do myself. Cocking my head to the side, I pull my eyebrows together. “Dude, you’re scaring the shit out of me. Is everything alright?”

His smile suddenly becomes more forced, and he leans forward, supporting his arms on his thighs. “Abso-fucking-lutely not, Kylie. I’ve made a mess of things.”

Taking the bakery box off the desk, I go to the other side of the small room and sit down on my couch. Half a dozen glazed doughnuts are in the box, and I sigh, inhaling their sweet scent. I eat two before I ask him about Sienna. “Have you talked to her?”