“Shut up,” she orders in a calm voice as she holds me even tighter. “Shut up and stop trying to do this on your own. You shouldn’t.” She releases me, takes a step back, and braces herself. “I don’t want to do it on my own either, okay? If you want to walk, I’ll go with you. If you want to talk, I’ll do that too. But it’s better if you go back inside. Here—” She sits on the bottom step—“I’ll stay with you until you’re ready.”

For the next ten minutes, she and I sit together on that bottom step. We say nothing—I’m almost certain neither of us manages more than a few breaths—but she doesn’t leave and neither do I. Finally, at the sound of Lily’s favorite Regina Spektor song that I’d suggested we use for the slideshow, Kendra stands and jerks her head to the front door.

“Hey, Evie?” she whispers tearfully. “We can help each other, okay?”

Nodding, I stumble to my feet, brushing my palms over my black skirt to dust off any dirt. But as I go back inside and take my spot beside my parents, letting a song about not saying goodbye blaze through my brain, I can’t help but wonder what Owen Delane’s brother would have said if he’d been able to finish speaking.

Chapter Three

Now

“Rhys Delane is my academic advisor’s assistant,” I gasp into the phone the second Kendra returns my call. The moment I broke free of Professor Cameron’s office five minutes ago, I made a hasty beeline to the exit to avoid coming in contact with Rhys again. I’d dialed Kendra’s number as I raced out of the building. The call went straight to her voicemail, but she quickly called back as I was leaving her a message.

“Kendra,” I hiss frantically, “Rhys Delane is at this college!”

“Um—” she starts, but I rush on.

“Professor Cameron wants him to give me extra lessons this semester, but I can’t.” Taking in a shallow breath, I stop in the courtyard and sink down on the short brick wall surrounding it. “I don’t know if I can be around him after everything that happened.”

“Wait—back up just a little and calm down, okay?” she sighs. “Who are we talking about?”

Taking her advice, I give myself a few seconds to catch my breath. “Rhys Delane, Owen Delane’s brother. The guy who ... the reason why Lily’s gone.”

She’s quiet for a long pause until she finally asks, “Are you sure it’s him?”

“Yes.” I’ve never been more certain of anything in my life.

“Oh, Evie,” she whispers. Now, it’s her turn to drag in a few breaths. “I’m so sorry. Did you ... did you tell him who you are? Or did he figure it out, or—?”

“No. I didn’t tell him. He didn’t figure it out. I mean, Miller’s such a common last name.” Not like Delane, a surname name that I’ve only heard twice—once with Owen and now with his brother. My hand trembles when I switch the phone to my other ear, nearly dropping it on the hard ground below because my palms are sweaty.

“What do I do?” I ask.

Kendra is momentarily silent, as if she’s going over all the possible solutions in her head. Finally, she evenly tells me, “Go back to your advisor and tell her you don’t think private lessons with him are going to work out. Just be honest. Trust me, it’s better that you are.” She sucks in a breath. “Unless you think you can handle being around him. And if that’s something you want to do, you need to come right out and tell him who you are. Again, it’s—”

“Better that I do,” I interrupt. Leave it to Kendra to always be the voice of reason and all that’s good when I’m freaking out. Squeezing my eyes together, I lower my face until I’m staring at concrete. “And no, I don’t think it’s a good idea for me to work with Rhys. Every time I look at him I’ll just think of her.”

I don’t blame Rhys for Lily’s death—I’m not that naïve—but I also won’t be able to focus on anything other than my sister’s passing when he’s around.

“Being around him might break me,” I whisper.

“I understand. You know what you have to do then.” After this, she expertly nudges the conversation away from the Delane brothers and our shared history. While we talk, I start my trek back to my dorm room, being careful not to run into anyone else today. That’s the last thing I need—to bump into another person from my past and be faced with more horrible memories.

Kendra’s telling me about her new roommate, a girl I met a couple of times during my days partying at James’ fraternity last year, when I walk into my suite to find the door to my room wide open. There’s a guy lounging on my bed, chatting with Corinne.

“Shit,” I curse under my breath. Ugh. This is just what I need right now. A new roommate with no understanding of boundaries. “Let me call you back in a few, okay?”

“Got it,” Kendra says.

“And Kendra?” I stop her before she can end the call, and she greets my question with a hmm. “Thank you. For listening.”

“Oh god, anytime. Make sure you call and tell me what happens with the advisor. Just remember—be honest.”

Hanging up, I toss my phone into my purse as I walk into my bedroom. Corinne is sitting with her legs crossed on her own bed, laughing at something the blond guy is saying. Now that I’m closer, I decide he looks like he walked straight out of the pages of a Hollister catalog.

Clearing my throat, I rest my back against the doorframe, lifting my brows. “Don’t mind me, I’m totally cool with your ass being all over my bedspreads,” I say in the most even voice I can manage, which at the moment, is tinged with irritation.

Corinne stops mid-sentence, her bright green eyes flashing over to me. The guy, realizing that I’m pissed about his placement on my bed, springs to his feet. I was right, he has Hollister written all over him. Slightly taller than my five-foot-eight, he has those classic good looks: brown eyes, curly blond hair, and an athletic body clothed in gym shorts and a college baseball tee.

“Damn, I didn’t think that—”

“What? I’d mind?” I question. “Because I do.”

“Ohhh, I’m so sorry Evie,” Corinne murmurs, worrying her glossy pink lips together. “Daniel came over to introduce himself, and we really didn’t think you’d care—”

Holding up my hand, I jerk my head from side to side. “You know what? It’s fine this time. Really.” I step around Daniel and toss my bag on the foot of my bed before grabbing a bottle of water from the mini fridge in the middle of the room. In the short amount of time I was gone to meet with Professor Cameron, Corinne’s already decorated her side of the room in a vibrant, tropical splash of teal and pink, complete with photos and inspirational posters.

“For reference, though, there’s a chair right there.” I jab my finger at the rolling chair that’s slid partially under my desk. “You know, in case you visit again.”

Wincing, he gives me a sheepish look. “Sorry again, Evie.” To Corinne, he grins as he backs up to our door. “Text me about tonight?”

She says something that’s a little garbled, staring after him as he exits the suite we share with two other girls. Crossing her short legs at the ankle, she skims her teeth over her bottom lip nervously.

“We’re really getting off on the wrong foot today, huh?” she asks softly.

Sadly, she’s right. During orientation early this afternoon my mind was still on my dream from last night, so I heard very little of what Corinne was saying as we followed around the poor resident advisor tasked with introducing our hall to the campus. When my roommate had to say my name several times to get my attention, she finally threw back her brown and henna red corkscrew curls and asked me if I was ADHD.

She’d known me all of an hour and she was already calling me out for being distracted. It had reminded me of my parents, who spent the summer pointing out that my lack of focus was the reason why I failed so horribly last semester. I hadn’t liked it one bit then, and I hated it just as much coming from Corinne.