I climbed the stairs with Some Pig following close behind. Up until the last few days, I’d enjoyed every minute with Finley. I’d looked forward to each day knowing that it would be filled with at least three major bouts of laughter. But now I dreaded seeing her. I loathed seeing this side of her. I had no idea what to say to her, and the connection that had come so instantly and fervently from the beginning had been lost. That bothered me most of all. I knocked but there was no response.

Some Pig had a litter box and bed of straw in a giant closet in Finley’s bedroom. I looked down at him and just like a little kid, he seemed to be doing what my mom had always referred to as the pee pee dance. I opened the door quietly, and the pig trotted to his little room and disappeared inside.

Finley looked tiny in her big bed buried beneath the layers of plush blankets. I tiptoed over and gently pulled back the cover. Her face was red from crying, but she slept soundly. It was amazing how much sleep she needed in this state. I tucked the blanket in around her, turned off the light, and left the room.

Hopefully, a long night of sleep would ease the pain of what had happened with Jude.

***

The burger joint in my neighborhood had wobbly plastic chairs, food wrapped in paper, and that distinctive thin coating of grease on everything, including the napkin dispenser. In Cole’s neighborhood, the burger joint was more of a boutique than a joint. The ten dollar burgers were delivered in a basket to the rustic, but elegant, pine booths. A linen napkin cradled the basket and the soda arrived in a sparkling wine glass. But after the first few bites it occurred to me that the greasy dive served better burgers.

Cole devoured his in minutes, and I handed him half of mine. “Here. It’s way too much burger for me.”

“You sure?” The sandwich was halfway to his mouth.

“Positive.”

“I don’t know how you girls exist on such tiny amounts of food.” He plowed it into his mouth. The evening’s events had definitely not upset his appetite. He wiped the pristine linen napkin across his mouth. “So I guess you and Jude are a thing.”

His comment caught me off guard, and I wasn’t sure how to respond. Especially because I really had no idea if we were a thing. Jude’s attitude toward me seemed to have changed as drastically as his sister’s spirits.

“We’re not really a thing,” I finally said, and realized my words were depressingly true. As much as I would have liked there to be a thing, I’d gotten myself into something much more complex than I’d imagined. The rocky and unfulfilling relationship I’d had with Chandler at school had been pretty straightforward. Fairly early on I’d discovered Chandler wanted to be with me just as long as no one of importance knew about it. At first, I’d been willing to accept it because I’d had a crush on the guy, and who doesn’t want to be with the most popular guy in school? But my heart was never at risk with Chandler. Deep down, I’d known it, and it’d been  easy to let him go. But with Jude, my usual confidence, the usual defenses I put up around my heart had disintegrated with his first kiss. I’d known from the beginning that nothing about the relationship was good or solid, but I’d let myself fall for him.

Cole gulped back the last of his cola. “I don’t know about that. I think it’s a thing to my brother.”

Of course, I desperately wanted to ask him why he thought so, but then I’d never thought of Cole as someone who was good at reading other people’s feelings. His thoughts seemed mostly centered around Cole. I decided to change the subject because this one was making my already bleak mood worse.

“Cole, don’t you think you should let your dad know that things are getting bad?”

He leaned back against the seat. “Yeah, probably. I guess Jude and I have been putting it off because Dad usually blames us when Finley’s upset. Then he comes back with his entourage, and it only causes more chaos.”

“First of all, I like your dad, but there can’t be anything more unfair than him blaming you both for Finley’s depression. She needs some professional help and a doctor.”

He picked at the fries in his basket but this topic seemed to have thrown a curve in his otherwise seemingly endless hunger. “I think my dad has had so many problems with drugs through the years, even with prescription stuff, he thinks they’re all bad now.”

“But he still drinks.”

He chuckled. “I know, ironic, isn’t it?”

“Couldn’t you convince your dad to come home without his people this one time? Finley adores him, and he might be just what she needs to bring her out of this.”

It was rare to see Cole deep in thought, but he seemed to be considering my suggestion. “You might be right. I’ll talk to Jude about it and see what he thinks.”

As we slid out of the booth, Cole checked his phone. “Huh, there are three missed calls from Jude.” He dialed Jude. “He’s not answering.”

I’d left the phone Jude had given me on my nightstand.

Cole looked back at me and both our thoughts could not have been plainer if they’d been floating around our heads in bold print. The hamburger did a full leap and somersault in my stomach as we raced out the door to the truck.

Cole raced up the street toward his house. My fingers wrapped tightly around the arm rest in the car as my intuition told me the worst had happened. Tension and dread pulsated around Cole too. We spotted the flashing red lights long before we reached the security gates.

My hands were shaking and the blood had drained from my head as his tires screeched up the long driveway to the mansion. A fire truck, police car, and ambulance were blocking the curved driveway.  A gurney was just being pushed into the back of the ambulance.

Cole slammed the truck into park and we jumped out. Jude appeared suddenly around the back of the ambulance, looking pale white and in shock. As soon as he saw us, rage added some color back to his face.

“Where the fuck have you two been?” he said. The expression he shot me nearly dropped me to my knees in anguish. Jude blamed me for this.

“What happened?” Cole asked.

“Finley swallowed a bunch of dad’s sleeping pills.”

“Is she all right?” Cole asked.

“I don’t know. They’re taking her to pump her stomach right now. I called Dad. He’s on his way. Why’d you leave her alone?” Again his question was aimed directly toward me. Cole did not jump to my defense, and all I could do is cry. Jude spun around. “I’m going in the ambulance. Follow in the truck.”

Through a flood of tears, I stumbled behind Cole to the car and collapsed into the front seat. I slumped down into a fog of despair, wondering if all this was truly happening. At first the summer job had seemed like a dream come true. It was a way to make money, get a taste of independence, and I couldn’t deny the fun of the luxurious lifestyle, something that was completely out of my range of reality. But it had quickly slid into a heartbreaking nightmare. The shocking reality of the scope of Finley’s problems was only the half of it. I’d fallen for Jude, and now, he’d shown me with no question for misinterpretation that I meant nothing to him. If I had, he would never have looked and spoken to me the way he had. Now I wanted nothing more that to be away from this job and this family.

Cole hadn’t said a word, and it was better that way. I was just as angry at him for not saying anything in my defense. But the person I was most ashamed of was me. I’d let Finley down. I’d failed at my job. Even if it was a job that was way out my skill level, I’d failed miserably and there was nothing I hated more than that.

Finley had already been wheeled inside by the time we reached the emergency room entrance. Jude had followed her into the ward. Because he was family, Cole was allowed past the double doors, but I had to stay in the waiting room.