"She will be soon. I can tell," Ayla said.

"I think you are right. But you are not so old, Ayla. Deegie is seventeen years, and she won't be joined until this summer at the Summer Meeting."

"That's right, and I promised I would be part of her Matrimonial. I can't go to a Summer Meeting and a Clan Gathering both." Mamut saw her pale. "I can't go to a Clan Gathering, anyway. I'm not even sure if I could go back to the clan. I am cursed. I am dead. Even Durc might think I'm a spirit and be afraid of me. Oh, Mamut. What should I do?"

"You must think about it all very carefully before you decide what is best," he replied. She looked upset, and he decided to change the subject. "But you have time. It is not yet spring. The Spring Festival will be here before we know it, though. Have you thought about the root and the ceremony you spoke of? Are you willing to include that ceremony in the Spring Festival?"

Ayla felt a chill. The idea frightened her, but Mamut would be there to help. He would know what to do, and he did seem so interested in wanting to learn about it.

"All right, Mamut. Yes, I will do it."

Jondalar knew of the change in the relationship between Ayla and Ranec immediately, though he didn't want to accept it. He watched them for several days until he could no longer deny to himself that Ranec all but lived at the Mammoth Hearth, and that his presence was welcomed and enjoyed by Ayla. No matter how he tried to convince himself that it was for the best and that he had done the right thing in moving away, he could not ease the pain of losing her love or overcome the hurt of being excluded. In spite of the fact that he was the one who had withdrawn from her, and voluntarily left her bed and company, he now felt she was rejecting him.

It didn't take them long, Jondalar thought. He was there the next day, hanging around her, and she could hardly wait for me to leave before she welcomed him. They must have just been waiting for me to go. I should have known…

What are you blaming her for? You're the one who left, Jondalar, he said to himself. She didn't tell you to go. After the first time, she didn't go back to him. She was right there, ready for you, and you know it…

So now she's ready for him. And he's eager. Can you blame him? Maybe it's for the best. She's wanted here, they're more used to flatheads… Clan. And she's loved…

Yes, she's loved. Isn't that what you want for her? To be accepted, and to have someone love her…

But I love her, he thought with a welling up of pain and anguish. O Mother! How can I stand it? She's the only woman I've ever loved that way. I don't want her to be hurt, I don't want her to be turned out. Why her? O Doni, why did it have to be her?

Maybe I should leave. That's it, I'll just leave, he thought, beyond the ability to think clearly at the moment.

Jondalar strode toward the Lion Hearth, and interrupted Talut and Mamut, who were discussing the coming Spring Festival. "I'm leaving," he blurted out. "What can I do to trade for some supplies?" He had a manic look of desperation.

A knowing glance passed between the headman and the shaman. "Jondalar, my friend," Talut said, clapping him on the shoulder, "we'll be happy to give you any supplies you need, but you can't leave now. Spring is coming, but look outside, a blizzard is blowing, and late-season blizzards are the worst."

Jondalar calmed down and realized his sudden impulse to leave was impossible. No one in his right mind would start out on a long Journey now.

Talut felt a relaxation of tension in Jondalar's muscles, as he kept on talking. "In spring, it will flood, and there are many rivers to cross. Besides, you can't travel this far from your home, winter with the Mamutoi, and not hunt mammoth with the Mammoth Hunters, Jondalar. Once you return, you will never have the chance again. The first hunt will be in early summer, soon after we all get to the Summer Meeting. The best time to start traveling would be right after that. You would be doing me a great favor if you would consider staying with us at least until the first mammoth hunt. I'd like you to show that spear-thrower of yours."

"Yes, of course, I'll think about it," Jondalar said. Then he looked the big red-haired headman in the eyes. "And thanks, Talut. You're right. I can't leave yet."

Mamut was sitting cross-legged in his favorite place for meditating, the bed platform next to his that was used as storage for the extra reindeer hide bedsheets, furs, and other bedding. He wasn't so much meditating as thinking. Since the night he had been awakened by her tears, he was much more aware of Ayla's despair over Jondalar's leaving. Her wretched unhappiness had left a deep impression on him. Though she managed to hide the extent of her feelings from most people, he was more conscious now of small details of her behavior that he might have missed before. Though she genuinely seemed to enjoy Ranec's company, and laughed at his jokes, she was subdued, and the care and attention she lavished on Wolf and the horses had a quality of desolate longing.

Mamut paid closer attention to the tall visitor and noticed the same desolation in Jondalar's behavior. He seemed filled with tormented anxiety, though he, too, tried to hide it. After his desperate impulse to leave in the middle of a storm, the old shaman feared that Jondalar's good judgment was becoming impaired at the thought of losing Ayla. To the old man who dealt so intimately with the spirit world of Mut and Her fates, that implied a deeper compulsion than simply young love. Perhaps the Mother had plans for him, too; plans that involved Ayla.

Though Mamut was reluctant to step in, he wondered why the Mother had shown him that She was the force behind their mutual feelings. Though he was convinced that ultimately She would arrange circumstances to suit Her, perhaps She wanted him to help in this case.

As he was pondering whether and how to make the Mother's wishes known, Ranec came into the Mammoth Hearth, obviously looking for Ayla. Mamut knew she had taken the wolf pup out for a ride on Whinney and would not be back for some time. Ranec looked around, then saw the old man and approached him.

"Do you know where Ayla is, Mamut?" he asked.

"Yes. She is out with the animals."

"I wondered why I hadn't seen her for a while."

"You are seeing a lot of her, lately."

Ranec grinned. "I hope to see a lot more of her."

"She did not arrive here alone, Ranec. Doesn't Jondalar have some prior interest?"

"He might have, when they first came, but he gave it up. He left the hearth," Ranec said. Mamut noted a defensiveness in his tone.

"I think there is still strong feeling between them. I don't think the separation would be permanent if their deep attachment were given the chance to grow back, Ranec."

"If you are telling me to back away, Mamut, I'm sorry. It's too late. I also have a strong feeling for Ayla." Ranec's voice cracked with the emotion he felt. "Mamut, I love her, I want to join with her, make a hearth with her. It's time I settled down with a woman, and I want her children at my hearth. I've never met anyone like her. She's everything I ever dreamed of. If I can convince her to agree, I want to announce our Promise at the Spring Festival, and join in the Matrimonial this summer."

"Are you sure that's what you want, Ranec?" Mamut asked. He was fond of Ranec, and he knew it would please Wymez if the dark boy he brought back from his travels would find a woman and settle down. "There are many Mamutoi women who would welcome a joining with you. What will you say to that pretty young red-haired woman you have almost Promised? What is her name? Tricie?" Mamut was certain that if a blush would have shown, Ranec's face would be red.