"Too bad we don't live closer to the Losadunai," he said, watching her go. "I would like to help that young woman, but I'm sure they'll find someone."

"Yes, I'm sure they will, but I hope she hasn't built up her expectations too high. I told her that someday she might find someone like you, Jondalar, that she had suffered enough and deserved it. I hope so, for her sake," Ayla said. "But there aren't many like you."

"All young women have high hopes and expectations," Jondalar said, "but it's all imagination before the first time."

"But she has something to base her imagination on."

"Of course, they all know more or less what to expect. It's not like they haven't been around men and women," he said.

"It's more than that, Jondalar. Who do you think left us those dry blankets last night?"

"I thought it was Losaduna, or maybe Solandia."

"They went to their bed before we did; they had their own honoring to do. I asked them. They didn't even know we had gone to the sacred waters – although Losaduna seemed particularly pleased about it."

"If they didn't, then who… Madenia?"

"I'm almost certain it was."

Jondalar frowned with concentration. "We've been traveling alone together for so long that… I've never really said it before, but… I feel a little… I don't know… reluctant, I guess, to be as impetuous, as free when we're around people. I thought we were alone last night. If I'd known she was there, I might not have been as… unrestrained," he said.

Ayla smiled. "I know," she said. She was becoming more and more aware that he didn't like to reveal the deeply sensitive side of his nature, and she was pleased that he would express himself to her, in words and actions. "I'm glad you didn't know she was there, both for me, and for her."

"Why for her?" he asked.

"I think that's what convinced her to go ahead with her womanhood ceremony. She had been around men and women sharing Pleasures often enough that she didn't think about it, until those men forced her. Afterward she could only think about the pain, and the horror of being used as a thing, with no thought for her as a woman. It's hard to explain, Jondalar. Something like that makes you feel so… terrible."

"I'm sure that's true, but I think there was more to it," the man said. "After a girl has her first moon time, but before she has had her First Rites, a woman is most vulnerable – and most desirable. Every man is drawn to her, perhaps because she may not be touched. At any other time, a woman is free to choose any man, or none, but at that time, it is dangerous for her."

"Like Latie wasn't even supposed to look at her brothers," Ayla said. "Mamut explained about that."

"Maybe not entirely," Jondalar said. "It is up to the girl-woman to show restraint then, and it's not always easy. She is the center of attention; every man wants her, particularly the younger ones, and it can be hard for her to resist. They follow her around, trying every way they can to get her to give in to them. Some girls do, especially those who have a long wait before the Summer Meeting. But if she allows herself to be opened without the proper rituals, she is… not well thought of. If it's found out, and sometimes the Mother blesses her before she is a woman, making sure everyone knows that she was opened – people can be cruel. They blame her and make fun of her."

"But why should they blame her? They should blame the men who won't let her alone," Ayla said, irked at the unfairness.

"People say if she can't show restraint, she lacks the qualities to assume the responsibilities of Motherhood and Leadership. She will never be chosen to sit on the Council of Mothers, or Sisters, or whatever name her people give to their council of highest authority, so she loses status, which makes her less desirable as a mate. Not that she loses the status of her mother or her hearth – nothing she is born with is taken away – but she will never be chosen by a man of high status, or even one who has the potential for it. I think Madenia feared that as much as anything," Jondalar said.

"No wonder Verdegia said she was ruined." Ayla's brow creased with concern. "Jondalar, will her people accept Losaduna's cleansing ritual? You know that once she is open, she can never really go back to the way she was."

"I think so. It wasn't that she didn't show restraint. She was forced, and people are angry enough about Charoli to use that against him. There may be a few who will have reservations, but she will have a lot of defenders, too."

Ayla was silent for a while. "People are complicated, aren't they? Sometimes I wonder if anything is really what it seems."

"I think it will work, Laduni," Jondalar said. "I do think it will work! Let me go through it again. We'll use the bowl boat to carry dried grass, and enough burning stones to melt ice for water, plus extra rocks to build a fire on, and the heavy mammoth hide to put the rocks on so they won't sink into the ice when they get hot. We can carry food for us, and probably Wolf, in pack baskets and our backframes."

"It will be a heavy load," Laduni said, "but you don't have to boil the water – that will save on burning stones. You just have to melt it enough so the horses can drink it; both of you and the wolf, too. It doesn't have to be hot, but make sure it's not icy. And make sure you drink enough; don't try to be sparing. If you have warm clothes, get enough rest, and drink enough water, you can resist the cold."

"I think they should try it out in advance, to see how much they will need," Laronia said.

Ayla saw that Laduni's mate had made the suggestion. "That's a good idea," she said.

"But Laduni's right, it will be a heavy load," Laronia added.

"Then we'll have to go through our things and get rid of everything we can," Jondalar said. "We won't need much. Once we get across, we'll be close to Dalanar's Camp."

They were already down to bare necessities. How much more could they get rid of? Ayla thought as the meeting broke up. Madenia fell in beside her as she walked back to their sleeping place. The girl-woman had not only developed a strong crush on Jondalar, but a bit of hero-worship toward Ayla, which made Ayla a little uncomfortable. But she liked Madenia and asked her if she would like to sit with her while she sorted through her things.

As Ayla began unpacking and spreading out her belongings, she tried to remember how many times she had done this before on this Journey. It would be difficult to make choices. Everything had some meaning to her, but if they were going to get across this formidable glacier that Jondalar had been worrying about from the beginning, with Whinney and Racer, and Wolf, she had to eliminate as much as possible.

The first package she opened contained the beautiful outfit made of soft chamois that Roshario had given to her. She held it up, then spread it out in front of her.

"Oooh! How beautiful! The patterns that are sewn on, and the way it's cut, I've never seen anything like it," Madenia said, unable to resist reaching out to touch it. "And so soft! I have never felt anything so soft."

"It was given to me by a woman of the Sharamudoi, people who live far away from here, near the end of the Great Mother River, where she is truly a great river. You wouldn't believe how big the Mother River gets. The Sharamudoi are really two people. The Shamudoi live on the land and hunt chamois. Do you know that animal?" Ayla asked. Madenia shook her head. "It is a mountain animal, something like an ibex, but smaller."

"Yes, I do know that, but we call it by a different name," Madenia said.

"The Ramudoi are River People and hunt the great sturgeon – that's a huge fish. Together, they have a special way of curing the hides of the chamois to make them soft and supple like this."