— “When she came, she hadn't a rag to her back, now she has more good clothing than me.” — I had indeed given the girl lots of good clothes. — “She is set up, and has got a good place as servant, where she will work hard, but what of that. It's better than stopping at home with a drunken father who half starved and ill-treated her. One of his shop mates would have done her business. — Now she can take care of herself, she knows enough.”

Her place was at a little grocers' shop in W**d**r Street. — A month afterwards I loitered near the shop curiously, and saw two youths, seventeen or eighteen years old, in it; sons of the woman who kept it I found. Sarah said I was wrong to go near. — “The best thing for you is never to see her again — if any row comes, I'll swear you never were at my lodgings in your life. — No one has seen you come, it has always been dark.”

I remarked that the youths would get into her. — “I hope they will, that will shut her mouth. — She won't go long without it being up her, and the sooner she fucks the better,” was Sarah's opinion. I never either saw the girl afterwards, nor heard of her.

I don't forget the delight of the girl when her poorliness came on, which it did about a fortnight after I had had her, nor the way she used to burst out into quiet laughter, when she pulled my prick about till stiff, and how she said. — “Oh you do make my legs ache so.” All little girls get the leg ache when I lie long between them. — One of my delights was to turn her on her side with her bum towards me, fuck her from behind, and go to sleep so with my prick well in her. It is easier to do it that way with a small bum, than with big buttocks. But pillows must be put under the side of the young ones, to bring their cunts up to a convenient level. Fucking so was one of my delights with Molly, whom Betsy Johnson got for me. At Sarah F**z**'s I never had anything in my pockets to disclose my name. I used to tail the girl whilst Sarah looked on, and have awakened with my tail still in the girl and Sarah tranquilly working in the room, and singing in a low tone to herself.

But I don't understand Sarah's behaviour in the mat-ter; why she wanted to be out of the house when I broached the girl, and so on. — Other women have however acted in peculiar ways under similar circum- stances, and the reasons for the dodges of gay women are only known to themselves. Somehow I think that Sarah's man had something to do with her desire to get rid of the girl, but about him I could glean no information; tho at times I was forbidden to go to her lodgings, because she said he was there.

Chapter XIII

The Christmas cattle show. • Mrs. Winifred P* * * *e. • Recognition. • Assignation. • A conversation in a cab. • Talking and groping at a brothel. • Both on heat. • Winifred's marriage night. • The utility of the monthlies. • The husband humbugged. • An explicit account of marital habits. • Her husband's tool and toolings. • A gamahuche. • A lick of a prick. • Our last meeting. • Fifteen minutes' hard ramming. • We part for ever. • About my remaining manuscript.

The deaf maiden occupied me about two months, and whilst Sarah disposed of her, a bit of luck befell me, which kept me from Sarah longer than I intended. Just then also I was not very free.

I went to the Christmas cattle show, saw a fine looking young woman stare with a surprized look at me, and recognized Winifred. She turned away her head, and laid hold of the arm of a man beside her, who looked like a middle-aged, country, well-to-do trades-man.

I could not keep my eyes from her, cared no more about the cattle, but followed the couple for half an hour at a short distance from them; with curiosity reflecting on what I had been to the lady, and she to me, till my prick stiffened. Every phase of our liaison passed through my mind as I followed the couple, and the reminiscence was delightful.

Soon I noticed her looking stealthily over the shoulder of the man. Her eyes met mine, and she very slightly shook her head. I got closer to them. — On they went, staring hard at the cattle and speaking at times, the man knowing as little of what was going on between me and the woman, as one of the bullocks. — Again her eyes met mine. She was fascinated and at length smiled. I followed on, thinking of her increased height and improved looks, and wondered how the little downy browny-edged cunt looked now after years of growth on it; for it was four years that Christmas since I had seen it.

A strong desire to see it again sprang up in me. I wondered who and what the man was, and if she'd had a male piercer up her since she'd had mine.

I followed watching them for half an hour. All at once he left her and entered the water closet enclosure. She remained, for a second or two, standing still, seemingly looking at the cattle. Then her head turned to see if he was visible, and to see for me. In a second I stood by her side. “For God's sake take care. It's my husband, he won't be gone a minute.” “Meet me.” “I can't, I dare not — go now.” — “Where do you live?” “We are only here for a week, we are at * * * *,” and she told an hotel near a railway station and what her name was. — “You must meet me, and I'll be outside the hotel at eight o'clock tonight.” “No, he'll be at home then, perhaps he won't at six.” “At six then,” — and repeating the address and name to myself so as to make no error, I moved away and wrote it down on one of my cards, finishing just as the man reappeared. In half an hour still watching them I saw them leave the building.

Then I thought I wouldn't go to see her, for she might have told me the wrong address and name, yet her eyes looked, as I fancied, full of desire for me. — Was it fancy — was it conceit on my part? — If she's married it's a shame. — Adultery again! — What awful temptations come to me — I won't go — I wonder how her dear pretty cunt looks. How large her bum now is — how like her mother she is. — Thus ran my thoughts, and after resolving that I would not go to meet her — I went.

The hotel was a small but perfectly respectable one, not far from a railway terminus. Punctually she came out. — Following me well away from it, we stopped. “I'm so frightened, my husband might come along, what would he say if he caught me talking with you?” “Get into a cab with me.” “Oh, I dare not.” — She kept looking up and down the street in a nervous state. “What do you want?” “My love, how can you ask. A chat about old times. Come.” “I'm married, really I am, and am so frightened.” — There was no time to lose. With a little persuasion she followed me at a distance, and got into a four wheeler. — Ah! those blessed wheeled baudy houses.

For a minute it was nothing but kissing — long long kiss, given and taken. Then volubly she began an ac-count of herself. One of my hands was round her waist, the other in a second was on her cunt. — “Don't now — you must not. — I'll get out else.” What a charming scuffle! — “Nonsense, Winny love, haven't I licked it and fucked it?” — Again we kissed, I told my love, in two minutes she was feeling my stiff prick, my fingers were buried between her warm cunt lips, our mouths were together, and tongues meeting. “What a lot of hair's on your cunt, love, now — how your clitoris has grown — how fat your thighs are; my darling let us fuck — get up, and sit on me. I'm dying to spend in you again.” — Kiss, kiss. — “No that I won't.” “Do — turn your bum round and sit on me, you know you once did it that way on a chair.” — All was useless — “I shall spend in your hand then.” She left off feeling my prick at once. — “You shan't do that.” — I coaxed, but all was of no use. — “If I do want it, I won't let you now.” “Meet me tomorrow.” “I'm frightened.” — She couldn't do this or that, but at last arranged to meet me. — “You want fucking I know, Winny.” “I'm not going to let you do it tho,” were her last words, as she got out of the cab and walked away.