Time went on. — I heard a clock strike. My desire for feeling her cunt and my own sperm seemed insatiable, and we talked on, and all about park whoring, till I determined to have her on a chair, as I had seen couples in the park for the first time in my life that night.

So I led her to the spot, and selecting a chair furthest seemingly from the spot most frequented by copulators, — I sat on it, and lifting her clothes, I put my peg into her. She clumsily rose and fell at first, but nature soon taught her. She spent, received my injection in her cunt, and sat on my prick till it left her, and then kissed me. “Let us go further off,” said she — I think my sister's about here, and I must get home before she does.” She never fucked that way before, and I never had done it like that in the open.

I found now that I had not a bit of silver left, but was charmed with the little fuckstress, and “Give me the silver back,” said I, “and I'll give you half a sovereign for it.” — She did — but suspicious. “It's real gold ain't it?” “Go to a gas lamp and look and I'll wait here for you.” “No — I won't, and you must be a real gentleman, and I'll be here tomorrow night, will you come to me?” said she. “No — You keep away and work, it's best for you.” “I shan't, I only gets nine pence a day, and walks three miles there, and three miles back. — I'm tired on it.”

I got home, my lust fever over, and in a terrible state of disgust with myself. I scrubbed my hand over and over again, I washed my prick and rubbed it till it was sore. When I have had such a mortal fear of disease I don't recollect. — Not since my boyhood I think. It was Pox-Pox, I dreaded. I soaked my hand next day in strong soda, plugged my nails with soap, then brushed it out, and was for some days in terror. Then I fancied my prick sore, and went to a doctor. I would not for days touch food with the hand which had paddled in the Scotchman's sperm, — and I had Victoria with fear lest I should disease her. It was a fortnight before my mind righted itself, and then I was still disgusted with myself for feeling the spermatized cunt of he park doxy. Yet with this I had a strange desire to see how a cunt looked, as well as felt, with another man's sperm in it. I have often desired to see that lately.

[This was a lewed interlude, had without intention. Curiosity begat curiosity, which begat lust, strong, unreflecting, unconscious, and unmanageable. — Yet now I say what harm was there in it, what evil did I do to anyone — what to myself? — As a series of lewed, and sequential impulses, the affair seems to me now a psychological phenomenon, and nothing more.]

Chapter XIII

In the Haymarket. • Cunt struck suddenly. • Sweet young Hefty. • An impatient couple. • A happy meeting. • Almost in love. • Mary S****s. • A servant by chance. • In Cockspur St. • Luncheon and lust. • Stared at. • At the accommodation house. • Nakedness. • Anonymous letters. • Fe-male spite. • A quarrel with Vic. • With Mary at F***f*** St. • Confessions.

One Saturday afternoon I met a sweet faced girl looking twenty, fairly grown, and elegantly dressed. There was something about her which attracted me even in the distance. I kept my eyes fixed on hers from the moment I could distinguish them — and she on mine. — A sudden and strong desire for her seized me, tho I was not wanting nor even thinking of a woman. I wanted to see and talk with her, rather than anything else. We both slackened pace as we approached each other. — “Come with me,” I said with sudden impulse. Half stopping, looking at me steadily for a few seconds, and then smiling, she placed her arm in mine as I turned round, and in three minutes we were in a handsome bedroom. — We had not spoken a word, until the servant had closed the door; I had got one of my well known rooms, at J***s St.

“I never was pounced upon like that before,” said she. “I longed for you the instant I set eyes on you,” said

“And I thought I should like you the instant I set eyes on you,” she rejoined. We stood up kissing for a minute. She had beautiful brown hair, and light hazel eyes, with the softest and most voluptuous expression in them, and beautiful teeth. — Then taking off my coat and waistcoat, she, unasked, quickly stripped to her chemise — and a lovely creature she was. Slim but quite plump enough, with flesh like ivory, hard little breasts, sweetly shaped legs, and with one of the loveliest little youthful cunts, set in a small quantity of silky chestnut hair that I ever saw, and all seen in the most exquisite underclothing. Stripped to my shirt, her naked bum was soon seated on my naked thigh, and whilst I twiddled her cunt, and she held my prick, our mouths and tongues together uttered inarticulate soft sighs of love, without speaking, till I almost felt I should spend. We were speechless with lust and impatient to couple.

I pulled my prick from her, and my hand from her cunt. “We are in a hurry, — do you want to go soon?” “Oh — no, I'm in no hurry, but I want you to poke, let's do it dear and we will talk afterwards.” — Again our hands were on our genitals, our sighs and salivas mixing for a minute, and then with one accord we went to the bed and fucked, murmuring our pleasure to each other. Recovering, — “You've a lovely cunt.” “You fuck lovely,” said she. “Oh I wish my prick would never come out of your cunt.” “So do I, — keep it in till you do it again,” thus we murmured our liking for each other, almost in each other's mouths.

Tho very late in the spring it was cool — and a fire was in the room. We sat after fucking on the sofa, with arms round each other and kissing. — The suddenness of our meeting, and poking, astonished us both. When had she been fucked last. Nearly a fortnight, ago — she was kept, and her friend had been away that time. “Didn't you want fucking my dear?” “And didn't you?” “I must wash, it's running out on to my chemise.” “No, don't it's nicer the second time unwashed.” “So it is, but give me a towel.” — I gave it to her, she put it under her bum, we talked a minute only longer, then speechless our tongues again met, and then to the bed. My prick went up, — “Oh isn't your cunt smooth?” “Yes, dear — oh, lovely,” — soon we were in ecstasy again, and then on the sofa we sat and talked. — Her name was Henrietta, and she was called Hetty. Soon again I had her.

Time rolled on, I got hungry. She wanted food, — but neither talked of leaving. At about ten o'clock, — my glorious stiff one (my prick will always stand to a nice woman even if it can't spend) rammed and rammed and fetched her but gave out no sperm. — “I'm done,” said I. “And done enough, you have knocked me up,” said she. Then we went to a shop, feasted full of lobster and separated. I had never had a more exquisite five hours with any woman, young, old, modest, or gay.

She met me again by appointment a few days after. — I had ordered clean dry sheets on the bed, and we laid naked together in them. We were mutually satisfied with each other's bodies. This time I gave her a little dinner before we went there, so we were in the best possible condition, tho I doubt if we really fucked better, or enjoyed each other more than we did at first. We spooned each other. For the most part my taste and my luck as it seems to me, has run me into large arced, fleshy, fat cunted, well haired, big women, so that this little lady seemed lovely to me by comparison. Her cunt seemed to fit me so, — and the slight hair pleased me so, that I kept thinking about that charming variety. Variety was perhaps at the bottom of it all, for a fresh cunt is mostly delicious, or it always is so to me.

When fucked out and dressed, we sat by the fire. — She would not tell me where she lived, —it was a nice little house, but her man was nearly always with her, and had kept her a year, she had only been gay three months before he did so. Now she was only eighteen, and he was so good, and liberal, and kept her mother as well, so that she was frightened-of being found out. — She had never, she could swear, had any man since he had kept her but myself. — and, “Good heavens, I longed for you as I looked in your eyes, and the quickness, oh!” Here she repeated my words, and described my action. — She should never forget it. — “I wish you would keep me. — I should love you in a week,” said she, “and would be so faithful to you. — I've never really felt I should like a man but you, tho I've only seen you twice.”