'Like Larch?' Homer said.

'Of course, like Larch!' Melony snapped at him. 'I {612} figured you for that-you know, the missionary. The dogooder with his nose in the air.'

'I don't see Larch quite that way,' Homer said.

'Don't be snotty to me!' Melony cried, her raw face streaked with tears. 'You've got your nose in the air-I got that part right. But you ain't exactly no missionary. You're a creep! You knocked up somebody you shouldn't 'a' been fuckin' in the first place, and you couldn't even come clean about it to your own kid. Some missionary! Ain't that brave? In my book, Sunshine, that's a creep,' Melony told him.

Then she left; she never asked him about the job; he never got to ask her how her life had been.

He went upstairs to the bathroom and threw up; he filled the sink with cold water and soaked his head, but the throbbing had no end. One hundred seventy-five pounds of truth had struck him in the face and neck and chest-had constricted his breathing and made him ache. A vomit taste was in his mouth; he tried to brush his teeth but he cut himself in the hand before he saw the blade. He felt nearly as paralyzed above the waist as he knew Wally must feel below. When he reached for the towel by the shower door, he saw what else was wrong, he saw what was missing from the bathroom: the blank questionnaire, the one he'd never returned to the board of trustees of St. Cloud's was gone. It didn't take Homer Wells long to imagine how Melony might answer some of the questions.

This new panic momentarily elevated him above his own self-pity. He called the orphanage immediately, and got Nurse Edna on the phone.

'Oh, Homer!' she cried, so glad to hear his voice.

'This is important,' he told her. 'I saw Melony.'

'Oh, Melony!' Nurse Edna cried happily. 'Missus Grogan will be thrilled!'

'Melony has a copy of the questionnaire,' Homer said.

'Please tell Doctor Larch-I don't think this is good news. That old questionnaire from the board of trustees.' {613}

'Oh, dear,'Nurse Edna said.

'Of course she might never fill it out,' Homer said, 'but she has it-it says where to send it, right on the thing. And I don't know where she's gone; I don't know where she came from.'

'Was she married?' Nurse Edna asked. 'Was she happy?'

Jesus Christ, thought Homer Wells. Nurse Edna always shouted into the telephone; she was so old that she remembered only the days of bad connections.

'Just tell Doctor Larch that Melony has the questionnaire. I thought he should know,' said Homer Wells.

'Yes, yes!' Nurse Edna shouted. 'But was she happy?'

'I don't think so,' Homer said.

'Oh, dear.'

'I thought she was going to stay for supper,' Wally said, serving the swordfish.

'I thought she wanted a job,' Angel said.

'What's she been doing with herself?' Wally asked.

'If she wanted to pick apples,' Candy said, 'she can't be doing too much with herself.' 'I don't think she needed the job,' Homer said.

'She just wanted to look you over, Pop,' Angel said, and Wally laughed. Angel had told Wally that Melony had been Homer's girlfriend, which Wally had thought was very funny.

'I'll bet your dad never told you about Debra Pettigrew, kiddo,' Wally said to Angel.

'Oh, come on, Wally,' Candy said. 'That wasn't serious.'

'You left something out,' Angel said to his father; Angel pointed his finger at Homer.

'Yes,' Homer admitted. 'But Debra Pettigrew wasn't anyone special.'

'We used to double-date,' Wally told Angel. 'Your old man usually got the back seat.'

'Come on, Wally!' Candy said. She'd given Homer and Angel too many asparagus; she had to take some back, or {614} there wouldn't be any for Wally or herself.

'You should have seen your old man at his first drive-in,' Wally said to Angel. 'He didn't know what drive-ins were for!'

'Maybe Angel doesn't know what they're for!' Candy said sharply to her husband.

'Of course I know!' Angel said, laughing.

'Of course he knows!' Wally said, also laughing.

'Only Bedouins don't know,' said Homer Wells, trying to go along with the fun.

After supper, he helped Candy with the dishes while Angel drove around the orchards with Pete Hyde; after supper, almost every night, the boys had a game-they tried to drive through all the orchard; before it was dark. Homer wouldn't let them drive in the orchards after dark-not after the apple crates had been put out for the pickers.

Wally liked the twilight by the swimming pool. From the kitchen window, Homer and Candy could see him sitting in the wheelchair; he had tipped his head back, as if he were staring at the sky, but he was watching the spiral drifting of a hawk over the orchard called Cock Hill-some smaller birds were pestering the hawk, flying dangerously close to it, trying to drive it away.

'It's time to tell,' Homer said to Candy.

'No, please,' Candy said; she reached around him, where he was working at the sink, and dropped the broiler rack that the swordfish had been cooked on into the soapy water. The rack was greasy and stuck all over with charred bits of fish, but Homer Wells immediately pulled it out of the water-without letting it soak- and started scrubbing it.

'It's time to tell everyone everything,' said Homer Wells. 'No more waiting and seeing.'

She stood behind him and put her arms around his hips; she pressed her face between his shoulder blades, but he did not return her embrace-or even turn to face her. He just kept scrubbing the broiler rack.{615}

'I'll work it out with you, any way you want to do it,' Homer said. 'Whether you want to be with me, when I tell Angel-whether you want me with you, when you tell Wally. Any way you want it, it'll be okay,' he said.

She hugged him as hard as she could but he just kept scrubbing. She buried her face between his shoulder blades and bit him in the back. He had to turn toward her then; he had to push her away.

'You're going to make Angel hate me!' Candy cried.

'Angel will never hate you,' Homer said to her. To Angel, you've always been just what you are-a good mother.'

She held the serving tongs for the asparagus, and Homer thought that she might attack him, but she just kept wrenching the tongs, open and closed, in her hands.

'Wally will hate me!' she cried miserably.

'You're always telling me that Wally knows,' said Homer Wells. 'Wally loves you.'

'And you don't love me, anymore, do you?' Candy said; she started to blubber; then she threw the serving tongs at Homer, then she clenched her fists against her thighs. She bit down so hard on her lower lip that it bled; when Homer tried to dab at her lip with a clean dish towel, she pushed him away.

'I love you, but we're becoming bad people,' he said.

She stamped her foot. 'We're not bad people!' she cried. 'We're trying to do the right thing, we're trying not to hurt anybody!'

'We're doing the wrong thing,' said Homer Wells. 'It's time to do everything right.'

In a panic, Candy looked out the window; Wally was gone from his position at the far corner of the deep end of the pool. 'We'll talk later,' she whispered to Homer. She grabbed an ice cube out of someone's drinking glass; she held the cube to her lower lip. Til see you by the pool.'

'We can't talk about this around the pool,' he told her.

'I'll meet you at the cider house,' she said; she was {616} looking everywhere for Wally, wondering what door he'd come in-any second.

'That's not a good idea, to meet there,' said Homer Wells.

'Just take a walk!' she snapped at him. 'You walk there your way, I'll walk there my way-I'll meet you, Goddamn it,' she said. She made it into the bathroom before Homer heard Wally at the terrace door.

Candy was grateful for the special bathroom equipment -especially the sink at wheelchair level, like a sink for children in a kindergarten, like the sinks at St. Cloud's (she remembered). She knelt on the bathroom floor and hung her head in the sink; she turned her face under a faucet; the cold water was continuous against her lip.